My career didn't have to stop because I became a mother; if anything, my daughter’s existence complements and adds to my story. I am thankful I gave my daughter the experiences I will share in this blog post!
Traveling to speak and attend conferences with a toddler can be an enjoyable experience. You both experience a new place together, meet new people, and learn about new cultures.
Reading a blog post with tips like the ones I’ll share could have saved me from overpacking, learning to set my pride aside and ask for help when needed, managing my expectations, and being realistic.
A baby playing with Lego
When I pack to leave the house before the trip, everything seems to be highly organized and easy to store, but what I've realized is that on the way back, I've never managed to fully put everything back in its state and especially during the trip when you need to get a cup, or a change of clothes quickly, it's hard to keep items tidy. So I find it necessary to leave with a bag that's easy to grab and see things and to leave some empty room because things tend to occupy more space when they are not tidy.
Here’s a list of the main things I would bring for a multi-day tech conference trip. I wouldn’t expect everything to be tidy all the time, but having a home to put things back in and find them does make things more visually accessible.
My toddler's first flights were all about waving at everyone, opening and closing the tray, and looking out the window; everything was new and fun to explore. Nowadays, she's traveled quite a bit, and at times, long-haul flights, so these are some of the toys I usually have with me that help out.
Magnetic tiles
Mess-free coloring books
Re-stickable stickers
None of the flights I've ever been on offered food suitable for babies, so I had to carry them.
Powdered milk (you might not have access to a fridge, so if it's formula or any powered milk that works for you, that's a good idea)
Milk that comes in liquid form can be stored outside the fridge
Baby food that can be stored outside of the fridge
Bibs/ cutlery
Wipes, muslins
My document bag is always within hand's reach because I carry many things and a baby, so I wear it as a cross-body bag.
Passports
Letter from the other parent/ responsible in case of traveling solo
Note down your blood type, allergies, or everything else. If you can, translate it into the local language
Think of everything you'll need to give your talk at the conference.
Portable charger
Outlet adapter
Phone charger
Laptop
Laptop charger
You get to change diapers in different places and face new challenges.
Diapers/ Underwear (extra potty training items if that's the case)
Wet wipes/ cotton disks
One change of clothes
Check if the over-the-counter medications you can buy where you live can be brought with you, and make sure they meet the liquid limits for hand luggage.
Paracetamol / Ibuprofen under 100 ml at most airports or any other medicine you might need with a prescription
Teething medicine
I bring a lot of clothes changes. For Devfest Modena, my baby wore a Firebase shirt, and I could hear the comments: "Oh look, that baby is wearing a Firebase shirt—so cool!"
Get stretchy, easy-to-dress clothes, not ones that require too much effort to put on when dressing the child.
Avoid traveling with the clothes you love too much. You might not have access to washing them quickly with the right products, and getting rid of stains after they've been there for days can be harsh. Instead, look for local laundry services or travel with necessary laundry products.
Usually, you put all your stuff on the belt, take your laptop out of the bag, take the belt off, and take off your shoes. Ugh, that's so annoying! Now, imagine doing it alone with a baby. How?
First, you won't be allowed to use your stroller to walk through. You'll have to carry your baby with you. Ok, alright. What about collecting your things and ensuring the toddler doesn't run away? You can wait to collect the stroller and fasten their seatbelt; you can wait for your baby carrier to come through the x-ray and wear it. You can hold their hands as you're doing everything.
When I traveled to a conference in Berlin, I read thoroughly through the airline regulations that allowed me to transport breast milk. However, the airport only allowed breast milk if the baby was with me. She wasn't. A lot of tears were shed from throwing away a liter of milk. I managed to collect and store it throughout the conference, and a sad story: this happened on International Breastfeeding Day.
Some airports have started allowing you to carry more than 100 ml. But that's only the case sometimes at both the departure and arrival airports, so double-check everything to save everything.
Some airlines allow toddlers to leave two items by the aircraft's door before they board, but others, especially low-cost airlines, only allow one. Since you'll need the car seat if you use cars or taxis to your destination, it should also go with you. Check before you book, though, because if you have more than one piece and it's not allowed, you'll have to check them.
This part is particularly challenging for me because I have a hard time asking for help, so I tried for several trips only to have bags that would go under my seat and not depend on the overhead compartment because that would require asking someone to collect whatever I put up there for me.
I find it particularly challenging at this point when the toddler has sat down for a whole flight, sees everyone standing, wants to walk, and there's a long queue of people waiting. At this point, I already have them in the baby carrier, and my backpack and my cross-body bag are ready.
However, on my last few flights, I've decided to put my pride aside and accept that I need help. I chose this option because of the time I had to walk from leaving the plane to passport control to waiting for the bags on each flight. The embarked bags and stroller could arrive in different areas, even within the same airport and terminal.
The amount of time I already had to babywear a baby and carry bags while waiting became a pain. It made sense to take the babywear and a 4-wheeled handbag in the overhead compartment with me. As I wait for my bag, it's easier and lighter to roll my luggage and let my toddler wander around and stretch their legs rather than worry about a toddler carrying a heavy bag on my back.
You might be in a different city or country or have timezone differences. Food and sleep times can be changed, and your child might be over- or understimulated, having to sit or walk more than usual. There can be more tantrums, and we need to help them self-regulate, so plan accordingly and allow them time to adapt and adjust.
Not all conferences have the same accessibility and inclusion initiatives. Some events do not allow individuals under a certain age, so it's worth checking beforehand if your child is allowed there. You should also check the code of conduct and the conference website and reach out to the organizers about any questions, especially if policies aren’t clear.
Some events have a parent or quiet room, while others don't. Some are accessible for you to wander around with your stroller, while others don't. Some events have baby-changing rooms, while others don't. You don't have to worry about carrying too many toys at some events, as some sponsored toys keep children entertained. So, if any of these points are overwhelming, reach out to the organizers beforehand and/or plan how to manage these situations in case some are absent.
People treat you exceptionally well at some events, and you feel welcome. Others are looked at and frowned upon for bringing a baby there. It’s essential to manage your expectations; you know yourself better than anyone else, so if a place doesn’t feel very welcoming, maybe consider attending/ speaking at a conference where your presence is valued. At the same time, this is also an opportunity to help the organizers share your feedback.
Networking at conferences with a toddler is fun—you always have an icebreaker topic to start! Because toddlers require attention, I have only as long and deep conversations as possible with the present, but I can catch up with people and make new connections.
There are so many kind people out there; they’ve offered to help by playing a cartoon on their phone, or if they’d like them to serve and bring any food or beverages for me during mealtimes, even offering to let me jump the food line.
I’ve been able to watch some talks and attend workshops when nap time would coincide, but other than that, I’d save to watch the recordings at a later time.
It’s essential to look around and understand how safe the place is; if there are stairs, escalators, places they might have a fall, or objects that could break and hurt them, assessing your surroundings is key to knowing when you can leave them run around a bit and not lose them.
I’ve had not-so-ideal experiences at some conferences; I was so overwhelmed. I thought to myself, I don’t want to attend this conference in the future because some of my breast milk-expressing requests that were asked ahead of the conference time were unmet. After I traveled and arrived home safely, I contacted the organizers, letting them know of everything I went through, and they promised their best efforts to make sure no other new parent would have to go through that in the future. That resonated with me, and I felt comfortable sharing feedback because I am a developer advocate. I advocate for technical content and experience and how included and appreciated, we are to be present at conferences.
So far, I've asked for help from my friends and family while speaking at conferences. I'd still let organizers know I had a baby to account for unforeseen circumstances.
Depending on the child’s age and the people they’ve been used to seeing or being around, they might resist being in the company of others. What I can share that worked for me was a selection of toys and activities prepared beforehand, in addition to favorite snacks and beverages packed. No one can know my child better than the ones who see her around more often, so being able to share with those who look after your child for that limited amount of time how to offer comfort and entertain her is key.
When I gave a talk at F3 in Prague, Czech Republic, I went on stage baby-wearing my child. I had my friend Laura Morinigo, also a speaker at the event, sit in the front row and be ready to take her if she started crying, so she did. She looked after her, and I babywore her for the talk's first and last minutes.
When I spoke at Devtalks Cluj-Napoca, Romania, my friend Sam Pavlovic looked after her. She was sitting on her stroller, and one exciting thing Sam shared was that because my voice was the one echoing in the room, she kept calm while being in the same room listening to her mom's voice.
At Devfest Modena, Italy, her uncle and aunt looked after her as they lived there. That day, she was very distressed and crying very loudly because she wanted to be near me; their approach was to take her out of the venue so as not to disturb everyone else and offer comfort.
It's been an incredible ride for me to travel with my under-2-year-old daughter and show her different tech events in various countries. We have visited the Czech Republic, Romania, and Italy and attended countless events together in the UK.
She has been on stage, given away swag, taken public transport, tried local food, slept on planes, and been on plane rides, only wanting to walk the whole time. I've carried strollers up and down stairs, and she's met several people from different nationalities and backgrounds.
If you have more questions or want to share your story, connect with us on the Vonage Developer Slack or @VonageDev on X.
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